LOVE ROLLERCOASTER: Finding ME again...

Finding ME again...

I’m thinking what’s my *Ta-Da* for today. Managed to catch some winks and woke up roaring to seize the day and then now it’s like “Hmm...” Well, I told Lov about the book I wanna get and he suggested the library...

So today’s *Ta-Da* is:

Go library
Figure out this blog (been a LONG time since I last blog :P)

Okay, will just leave it as that first. It’s kinda fun calling it my “Ta-Da” list instead of “To Do”. The latter is more like a chore. It’s also easier to tie with my “To Be” for the day. Past days, I’ve been looking up a lot of motivational and inspirational webby and I found this one: http://ezinearticles.com/?Be-Positive-Now-With-These-6-Easy-Positive-Thinking-Techniques&id=2402652

All these started with a conversation I had with Lov. Something happened and made me very distraught and upset. I was totally in a wreck and Lov grounded me back. Totally grateful that he was there for me and one of the many things he said was this simple question: What are you gonna do? He was asking me what I’m gonna do with the situation but it made me think deeper and it struck me that I REALLY need to find myself again and be ME.

So much has happened the past year and I have been in such an emotional state of turmoil that it’s made me so depressed and lost. It affected us a lot but it also made us learn and appreciate more of each other. One thing I learned is that, after being with someone for so long, you’re more incline to be like them. It’s very important to know that you are still YOU and not forget that. I’ve seen a lot of couples go down that way and they don’t even realise that. They THINK they’re being themselves but they’re not. Which is why it’s very important that we have to define what is the essence of our Self.

I guess for me, I’ve been stubborn because I would always fight for Me. I’m talking about when it comes to being my Self. I’m not at all selfish because if I am or was, I wouldn’t be in such a depressed state now would I? Lov actually pointed that out to me. He messaged me this: “...You bring truth and honesty to those who have none, you’re never a trend follower or a fallen victim to fads, your individualism is like the single bright star that ignites furiously than all other stars that had polluted the sky...”

That really made me cry... I feel blessed to have Lov by my side because for one thing, he never restricted me from being Me. Lov has also always been encouraging but that is the first in our years of relationship he said such things that way. REALLY hit a chord in me and gave me the strength that I needed. Nothing else matters at that moment and I really felt my Star shining again. It’s my time to Live and that started this new journey.

I thought about the things I like and Food came to mind. No, not eating, but recipes. I love baking and I haven’t been doing that in a long time. I love cooking too but well, I do that everyday :P I do try to make my daily cooking interesting at times because it can get a little tiring and dull when it’s the same day after day. So I HAVE to find some ways to make it interesting. I’m lucky that Lov is not a fussy eater. He’ll try anything new that I “create”. If he likes it then it’s a keeper ^_^

Back to Food, I remembered this Food blogger and traveller Putriberendam and I decided to look her up again. I used to follow her blog and I can’t remember why I stopped. Wow! Has it been that long?! Well, never too late to start following her again! ^_^

Who would have thought that she had started a new project, another blog? First Intention counts! Because I was looking for a new direction, an inner peace so that I will be able to do all the things I love doing again. What has it got to do about Food right? Well, in this case, it does! I like and agree with what she said in her new blog The World Is In Your Mind, "Anything is possible, I Believe and have Faith." That has always been one of the things Lov and me would say to each other.

From there it just got my gear started and one website after another. Most of the stuff is what I've known all these years, but this time it further enforced me to act. So rule of thumb: Intention. The first Intention is important because whether or not you know it, whatever you do, wherever you go, it will always lead you to where your first intention is. Be clear and know what I want. It’s not just focus. I always tell myself, FOCUS but if my main intention is not clear, I will still get lost along the way. KNOW what I want and WHY. For example, I want to be healthy because I want to be able to do my favourite outdoor activities again. That reminds me, my *Ta-Da* list. Will add that in there ^_^

Well, I'm gonna sign off for now and quote what Lov said to me, “We don’t just fall to get up again, we have to make sure we stay up.” Thank you Lov and yes, I will Smile everyday.

And... right on cue, Lov just called ^_________^

Posted on 4/24/2010 10:06:00 AM - by UrsMineUs

I HEART

- anything Home related (from interior design to home accessories)
- Azuki beans!!
- Bags, Shoes... (maybe cos the only thing that change is the design haha!)
- Baking (therapeutic ^_^)
- Chocolate cake, Cheesecake... oh well, all cakes and pastries ^o^
- Comic characters: Hulk, She-Hulk, Iron Man, Hellboy, Death, Groo, Mystique, the animals in Liberty Meadows (haha!), and many others...
- Comics: it varies from time to time (depending on my mood), but I do love Liberty Meadows, Groo, Death (Neil Gaiman)... Ooh ya! Nancy ^_^ and er... I'll add as I go along...
- Curling up on the sofa with a mug of hot cocoa on a cold and/or rainy day
- DVD Box Set (don't know why, just love it), Star Wars/Star Trek/Battlestar Gallactica... whatever collectibles that'll make me go WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE ^O^
- Fruits (very long list - mango, mangosteen, rambutan, dragonfruit (esp. red 1!), LOVE FIGS, cherry, plum, peach, lychee, grapes, oranges, pear, apples, AVOCADO, and it goes on and on...
- Grilled/Smoked/BBQ meats, seafood, vegetables... mmmmmm
- Lobster (haha! this always reminds me of Peter from Family Guy: ROCK LOBSTER!!)
- Nuts: almond, pistachio, walnut, cashew, brazil nut, pumpkin and sunflower seeds (ok, not nuts)
- Rainy days = happy days
- Sakura (Cherry Blossoms) haaaaaa
- SALMON nom nom nom nom nom
- smell of cinnamon and freshly baked breads... mmmm...
- Smoothies, Shakes, Yoghurts, Ice Cream, GELATO... (yummm)
- Strawberries, blueberries, all berries...
- the color Red, Sky Blue and Earth Green
- TRAVEL!!! ^_^
- UNAGI... yummmm...